Andrew Dipper

The funniest joke at the Fringe

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Tim Vine has won Dave’s ‘Joke of the Fringe’ title for the second time.

Vine come top with nearly a fifth (19%) of respondents voting for this gag: “I decided to sell my hoover… well it was just collecting dust.”

Vine also triumphed in 2010 with: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

On being awarded the top spot, he said: “I’m a little bit surprised but very delighted. This is the second time I’ve won this award but I guess nobody loves a repeat more than Dave.”

Three female comedians also feature in this year’s Top 10 as jokes from Bec Hill, Ria Lina and Felicity Ward proved to tickle the nation’s funnybone, reflecting the overall reported 62% rise of women performing at this year’s Fringe.

Dave’s Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2014, according to a public vote:

  1. “I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.” – Tim Vine
  2. “I’ve written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set.” – Masai Graham
  3. “Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.” – Mark Watson
  4. “I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn’t work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s.” – Bec Hill
  5. “I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn’t let me.” – Ria Lina
  6. “Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal.” – Paul F Taylor
  7. “Scotland had oil, but it’s running out thanks to all that deep frying.” – Scott Capurro
  8. “I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame ’cause halfway through he disappears up his own arsehole.” – Kevin Day
  9. “I’ve been married for 10 years, I haven’t made a decision for seven.” – Jason Cook
  10. “This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it.” – Felicity Ward

These one-liners just missed out on the top spots:

“I go to the kebab shop so much that when they call me boss in there it’s less a term of affection, more an economic reality.” – Ed Gamble

“Leadership looks fun, but it’s stressful. Just look at someone leading a conga.” – James Acaster

“I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.” – Sara Pascoe

And some of the jokes voted the least laughable included:

“My mate sat on my pumpkin. He butternut squashed it.” – Leo Kearse

“I had a friend call Iain. Two ‘i’s… to go with the face.” – John Kearns

“I’m lazy – my childhood ambition was to be an injured footballer.” – Mike Shephard

“This vodka is drunk by the rapper Sean Combs. P Diddy? Only when he drank a whole bottle.” – Ben McFarland and Tom Sandham

“I tried to Google endangered species. They were hard to find.” – Suns of Fred

“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.” – Tim Vine