Andrew Dipper

Five questions for Lost Voice Guy

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2014 BBC New Comedy Award winner Lost Voice Guy is back at the Edinburgh Fringe with a new show all about the stupid questions he gets asked. Here’s five that we hope don’t make the show. 

Tell us about your show…

I’m often getting asked if I really can talk after my gigs, because obviously pretending to be disabled for the sake of entertainment is perfectly acceptable! If I was going to do that, I’d probably pretend to be blind, so that my guide dog could shit on everyone who didn’t laugh at my jokes. I’ve also been asked if I could still have a relationship even though I was disabled and someone once asked if I wanted a list of doctors who could fix me!

Quite simply, I’m sick of dealing with stupid people, so I’m putting on this show instead. Think of it as being like a disabled FAQ for dummies (…or dunces for legal reasons!). As part of my show, I will be inviting the audience to ask their questions as well. They can also ask me anything they like via email on [email protected]. Don’t worry about making a fool out of yourself, it’s an amnesty after all. The more bizarre the question, the more likely it will be that I answer it.

Hopefully the show will evolve over the festival as more and more questions get asked. The saying goes ‘ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer’, so as long as people don’t expect me to actually educate them, then we should all have a laugh.

If you weren’t a stand-up what would you be and why?

If I wasn’t a stand-up, I would probably be very depressed! I just enjoy making other people laugh really. I also think it helps me cope with my life at times. I see the funny side of most things so it’s good that I have a job where I can share my twisted sense of humour with other people. At least it confirms that I’m not that weird after all. I honestly believe that if I didn’t laugh about stuff, I’d cry though. So this is the better alternative.

What’s the best and worst thing about being you?

The best thing about me is that I can’t speak. The worst thing about me is that I can’t speak. If I’m thinking like a proper comedian, not being able to speak and having a disability is just a gold mine of material. And there’s always going to be stupid people so I’ll never going to run out of stuff to joke about. It is a bit shit not being able to talk though.

What do you get up to in Edinburgh when you’re not on stage?

When I’m not gigging, I love people watching while I’m up here. There’s so many places to go where you can just watch the world go by. My favourite place to do it is in St Andrew Square….and not just because it’s close to my flat and venue and I’m just lazy. I also love to catch as many other shows as I can and check out things that I maybe wouldn’t watch normally.

Describe your perfect Edinburgh Fringe…

It is the year 2050, and the recent law banning massive hills and inaccessible venues has seen Edinburgh been flattened and rebuilt from scratch, all on one level. Old town still exists but only the brave visit it, and never at night. The Cowgate People have made it inhabitable. The rest of the city is just as beautiful as it was, but it doesn’t take ten minutes just to walk up one street which is on a massive incline. The Stand Comedy Club has brought every property on York Place and renamed it Comedy Crescent. Time has also been outlawed in Scotland, meaning that my show doesn’t clash with any others that I want to see. Edinburgh has never had it so good.

Lost Voice Guy: Disability for Dunces, The Stand 5, Edinburgh, 7-30 August (except Mondays), 13:15, £8. Tickets.