Rob Gilroy

A sitcom about Cameron? He’s not funny enough

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It’s just been announced that Channel 4, along with the genius minds of Guy Jenkins and Andy Hamilton, are creating a sitcom based around the General Election.

It promises to be up-to-the-minute and reactive to real-time events. A bit like Drop the Dead Donkey, only without DCI Banks.

It sounds like a brilliant idea and one, in this age of selfie sticks and instant messaging, that we should excel at. And yet, there’s one question hanging over me – is this election funny enough to cover?

Politics, by its very nature, is a bit dry. That’s why ITV hired Nina Nannar – even writing her name helps to keep things jovial.

So what makes politics a firm grounding for comedy; least of all an election that feels as if it’s heading relentlessly to nothing but disappointment, compromise and a sense of the familiar?

That’s depressed me again. Nina Nannar.

The run up to this election has seen many odd moments. From Ed Miliband struggling to navigate his way round a bacon butty, to David Cameron repeatedly sticking up for those woefully misunderstood wealthy people.

Not to mention Nigel Farage – a man who looks not dissimilar to a ventriloquist dummy possessed by serpent.

Even the Leaders’ Debate – the one Cameron could be bothered to attend, bless him – was nothing short of a farce.

Looking like the shitest episode of The Weakest Link in which nobody banked a penny; the opposing leaders argued and screamed over one another, while an audience, made up of hard working people and politically astute foetuses, watched on.

It was hard to stay focussed as each MP would flit between talking to the audience and the cameras; as if delivering their ‘final thoughts’ before bringing on a DNA test.

A few politicians came out of the debate positively; but it’s still worth sparing a thought for poor Nick Clegg.

This time five years ago, he was steaming ahead through a mixture of straight talking, common sense values and name repetition.

Now he stands in front of us; a two-timing ex, desperate for another shot. Only, he’s texting his next conquest as he pleads for forgiveness.

Then there’s Russell Brand. Ah, yes. Russell Brand. A man who couldn’t steer a misjudged remake of Arthur to success, yet believes he has it in him to bring about social and political revolution.

Say what you like about Karl Marx, but he would definitely have pulled off a reboot of ‘Santa Claus the Movie.’

The worrying thing is; Russell has a sort of point and some people will listen. They’ll see old Russ, star of Get Him to the Greek and the St Trinian’s movies, as a beacon of truth and honesty; looking out for the young generations.

That may be true, but it’s no reason to leave our future in his ill-equipped hands.

The current political system may not be the answer; but neither is leaving it to someone who once fronted Big Brother’s Big Mouth.

There’s little to suggest things will get better after the next election, least of all the NHS. The Cinderella of the public services; born out of a desire for something beautiful, gradually ground down by step parents unwilling to take on the burden.

The Conservatives won’t stop until they sell off every hospital bed and soggy catheter.

And why not? It’s bound to work better under the watch of private companies; just like the trains, the Royal Mail, the Post Office and energy suppliers.

Give it a matter of time and soon Richard Branson will be greeting you via hologram in A & E; welcoming you to the new Virgin Health Refinery.

If you thought his brand of cola was dire, wait until he’s in charge of your medication – stroking his wiry blonde beard, planning his next balloon trip while prescribing you tablets that do shit all, but have a lovely red and white design.

Don’t even get me started on austerity, cuts to the arts, the shambles that is the management of the education system and the Scottish Referendum. How corrupt does a political institute have to be for an entire country to think ‘that’s it, we’re off’?

The election is coming; and personally, I don’t feel ready to make a decision yet.

Will it help to laugh at the absurdity of it all? Quite possibly. Who will we turn to in our time of need?

Nina Nannar.