Rob Gilroy

Knowing Me, Knowing Yule

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Rob Gilroy talks Christmas specials.

It’s that time of year again. No, not when the press announce the death of the sketch show for the billionth time – although that has happened – it’s the time things get a little bit festive. So I thought I’d continue a theme from last year and look at some of my favourite Christmas specials.

This year, the TV schedules are chock-full of Christmassy editions of some of our favourite shows, which makes a change from the usual season of blood that’s perpetrated by the soaps. Depending on your tastes, you’ll either be delighted by the innards of the Radio Times, or despairing that they’re dragging out the same shit, only this time wrapped it in tinsel.

If that’s how you feel then you know what they say? If life gives you shit lemons then look at some old, better lemons instead.

It’s with this that I re-watched the sublime Knowing Me, Knowing Yule with Alan Partridge. If you haven’t seen it then you’re missing out on what I genuinely think is one of the best and most consistent hours of comedy gold ever burnt onto film. So, y’know, sort yourself out.

Playing out like an episode of Noel’s House Party in which fun has been replaced by a breakdown that’s an even bigger cry for help than Michael Burke on I’m a Celebrity… It is exceptional television and also notable for being the first real evolution for Partridge, taking him from the brash and inept TV host into full time shambles of a human being. If the bulk of I’m Alan Partridge, Mid-Morning Matters and Alpha Papa have focused on his failed attempts to be back on top, Knowing Me, Knowing Yule was the moment it all fell apart. The Batman Begins of the Partridge story, if you will.

Everyone gets a look in; from cross-dressing chefs to racist chauffeurs, gay conductors to masturbation-obsessed carol singers – but at the centre of it all is a man that thinks it’s wise to gut an antique cabinet in order to fit a VCR and television combo.

The thing I love the most about this show, is that it takes the Knowing Me, Knowing You concept and manages to find something new to do with it, whilst making sure that Christmas is infused throughout the entire show.

It‘s rare to watch a Christmas special that actually feels festive, and yet KMKYWAP does it perfectly. From the second you seen Alan outside TV centre with a choir boy, it feels like the exact sort of event television it’s parodying, while at the same time being true to the season. They haven’t tried to make it feel like Christmas by sticking paper hats on people and using fake snow – I’m looking at you Eastenders – this is Christmas with Alan Partridge and it’s just as horrible as that sounds.

I could write whole essays on the brilliance of the video about Alan’s home life. It is the jewel in the crown of everything we see. From his pasty legs running round Norwich Cathedral threatening to stick Raquel Welsh in a youth hostel, to his trip to Tandy’s (“Nice action”) via his tips for the perfect hill start; along with his country ramble, it really is the perfect forerunner to I’m Alan Partridge.

The initial series was always very good at taking Alan’s dream programme and gradually demolishing it over the course of 30 minutes. We watch as the show unravels while Alan continues to stay positive, like a member of the orchestra on the Titanic dicking around with a fiddle. The festive edition takes this idea and delivers it perfectly, culminating with Alan punching a disabled man in the face with a bird carcass. Somehow this manages to be as effective, if not more, than him shooting Forbes McAllister in cold blood.

I genuinely can’t express just how much I love this show, or how well I know it, but every conversation, every line, is precision comedy writing. My personal highlights include the failed attempt to sing the 12 Days of Christmas, Alan and Fanny Thomas discussing how the show’s catchphrase only serves to lengthen the show’s running time (possibly why JFK got shot) and the discussion about Gordon Heron’s personal mind maps.

Before I wrap up this completely biased recollection, I must give a shout out to Mick Hucknall. It’s not often that man comes in for praise, but if his Simply Redding thing dies down, he’s certainly cornered the market in awkward live performances. Whether he’s competing with Tony Ferrino or straining to reach the top notes of Ding Dong Merrily on High, he is perfect. Well done Mick.

I won’t lie, it would take a lot for me to hate something that Coogan, Iannucci, Marber, Front and the gang create, but this is the pinnacle of a team that knows exactly what they’re doing. Like the Python team in Life of Brian, or the Blackadder bunch tackling WW1, this is, for me, is The Day Today team’s victory lap. (Let’s assume Chris Morris was holding the starting pistol – probably a comment on how guns are perceived in the media.)

So if you haven’t seen Knowing Me, Knowing Yule with Alan Partridge you need to. After all, he bids you glad tidings, NOW.